george carlin quotes government

It is one that we need to function as a society. They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Ghandi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. "https://":"http://";i+=f?g:k;i+=j;i+=h;c(i)}if(!e.ue_inline){if(a.loadUEFull){a.loadUEFull()}else{b()}}a.uels=c;e.ue=a})(window,document); v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. fetchBids: function() { The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. [CDATA[ if(cookiePair[0] === name) { var useSSL = "https:" == document.location.protocol; Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. George Carlin, 62. Vicious Quotes Page 5. . }()); Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. Try spelling Evian backward. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! When you die, it all stays here. We havent tried that for a while. In America, anyone can become president. "https:" : "http:") + What do you say? var node = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("signedin", "false"); The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. They own you. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. A comedian can say things that you may not want to hear but need to. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Quotes. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. Like the boogie man. Use your fucking heads! Christmas Quotes For Mothers To Make Her Day, These 10 Quotes About Best Friend Love Are Perfect For Showing Your True Colors, 118+ Inspiring Christmas Quotes For Instagram That Will Bring A Warm Glow To Your Holiday Season, Mourning Your Dogs Death With Quotes From Rainbow Bridge, 15+ Rumi Quotes On Happiness That Will Boost Your Mood, These Rumi Quotes About Depression Will Bring You Comfort. Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. Your dog thinks you're a god. George Carlin political quotes may seem sensitive, but they inspire necessary conversations. Stand-Up Comedy. if (window.csa) { I think the life cycle is all backwards. The people are fucked." George Carlin tags: funny , humanity , humor 8709 likes Like Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. 3. "Everyone smiles in the same language." ~ (George Carlin). Everybodys going to save something now. Lists. init: function() { Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Are these people kidding? > Quotable Quote. In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. In America, anyone can become president. if (isRetina) { I think that speaks for itself. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. he must of been a brilliant man mostly misunderstood by most people wish i would of met him in person one on one, 51 Best John Muir Quotes On Nature, Mountains, Trees, 50 To Kill A Mockingbird Atticus Quotes With Page Numbers, Happy Birthday Nephew Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Daughter Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Good Morning Happy Monday Images With Quotes, Wishes, Cute & Romantic Happy Birthday Love Images For Him, Her, Happy Birthday Dog Images With Quotes For Your Puppy, Happy Birthday Niece Images With Wishes, Messages, Quotes, Depression Quotes Images | Feeling Sad Pictures, Wallpaper, Happy Birthday Son Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Husband Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages For Hubby, Good Morning Quotes Images To Make Your Day Beautiful. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. Teach them to question everything. googletag.cmd.push(function() { } Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. They own everything. Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. }, Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. Its all very confusing.George Carlin, People are wonderful. Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. It takes up a lot of your time. But he loves you. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. They own everything. ' George Carlin, 30. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. They should be more vivid. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. window.csa("Config", { What exactly is viewer discretion? Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. Whether youre looking for inspirational or funny quotes by George Carlin or whether youre looking for his famous quotes politics and education, its all here. #government. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, 26. Showing 1-30 of 421 "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin tags: humor , insanity , lies , lying , self-indulgence , truth 19588 likes Like "The planet is fine. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointedidealist. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_hd_images-2b89833762f600506d44865a33582d11.css"; George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. Thank you! When you are born, you get a ticket to the freak show. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. } It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { })(); You know what they ought to do with churches? His critical thinking shines on stage and opens your eyes to modern-day problems that most folks are oblivious to. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. George Carlin. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, 83.Theres a reason education sucks, and its the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. Its totally FREE. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. We havent tried that for a while. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. This made him outstanding. - George Carlin profile quotes. Before, all you had to go by were these 14 quotes. I think that speaks for itself. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true); Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. George Carlin. You know why? Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. 2. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. " George Carlin 14. Government is an important institution. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. " If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. You have owners. Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. I look at war a little. "Forget the politicians. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? Vicious quotes and captions plus a big list of quotations about vicious, xenophobia, and brutal quotes by George Carlin and Francois de la Rochefoucauld. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air. George Carlin, 54. [CDATA[ Deal with it. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin, 49. Share your thoughts in the comments below! He loves you and he needs money. Good, honest, hard-working people: white collar, blue collar, it doesn't matter what color shirt you have on. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. " George Carlin Quotes I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. 3140. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. //= 2; // retina display "Events.SushiEndpoint": "https://unagi.amazon.com/1/events/com.amazon.csm.csa.prod", He loves you. 3. var source = getCookieWithoutJQuery("source"); No money to be made off of the homeless. George Carlin 13. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Every day we present the best quotes! googletag.pubads().setTargeting("gr_author", "false"); As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, 6. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, 24. Did you enjoy this article? Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. Continue with Recommended Cookies. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, 21. People are wonderful. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, 10. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. You and I are not in the big club. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. This is the best we can do folks. "Laugh often, long and loud. Nobody owns anything. We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. 4. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. Your email address will not be published. , Because theres no money in that problem. !function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}(); To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. George Carlin, 61. Its never just a game when youre winning. George Carlin, 7. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. And fight songs. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. session: { id: "334-5362882-2183381" }, I love individuals. A Death! Right in the f--in head! Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, 41. They own all the important land. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. So, we must be clear about our expectations for government and its role in our lives. It will not be with jack-boots. Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. var ue_mid = "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1"; If the parent corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news. Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? And just dumb enough to passively accept it., The government doesnt lie, it engages in disinformation., Im a loyal American and Im not happy unless I let the government and industry poison me a little bit every day., Government wants to control information and control language because thats the way you control thought, and basically thats the game theyre in., Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation., I believe the government should step in where the free market fails., Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them., A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does.. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Enjoy! George Carlin Quotes Government : "Most of the government wants to control information and language so that it can control you. Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Couldnt you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? .__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.authorModuleDropdownMenu{width:180px;border-left:1px solid #D8D8D8;border-right:1px solid #D8D8D8;border-top:1px solid #D8D8D8}.authorModuleDropdownMenu__dropdownLink,.authorModuleDropdownMenu__dropdownLink:hover{display:block;text-align:left;padding:12px;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", sans-serif;font-size:14px;color:#000000;cursor:pointer}#authorInfo{display:-webkit-box;display:-moz-box;display:-ms-box;display:box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-moz-flex;display:-ms-flex;display:flex;padding:10px 10px 5px 10px}#authorInfo .authorInfoGroup{-webkit-box-flex:1;-moz-box-flex:1;-ms-box-flex:1;box-flex:1}#authorInfo .authorPhotoGroup{-webkit-box-flex:0;-moz-box-flex:0;-ms-box-flex:0;box-flex:0;margin-right:10px}#authorInfo .authorFollow{display:flex}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer{border-radius:3px;border:1px solid #D6D0C4;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", sans-serif;font-size:14px;-moz-appearance:none;-o-appearance:none;-webkit-appearance:none;appearance:none;cursor:pointer;display:inline-block;text-decoration:none;color:#333333;background-color:#F4F1EA;line-height:1;padding:8px 12px;font-size:16px;padding:12px 24px;box-sizing:border-box;text-align:center;margin-left:0px;padding:0px;min-width:38px;height:32px;background-image:url(/assets/down-caret.png);background-repeat:no-repeat;background-position:center;float:right}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:disabled{border-color:#DDDDDD}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:hover{color:#333333;background-color:#ede6d6;text-decoration:none}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:active{background-color:#D6D0C4}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:disabled{background-color:#F3F3F3;color:#cccccc}@media (max-width: 540px){#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer{min-width:20px;width:27px}}#authorBooks{*zoom:1}#authorBooks:after{content:"";display:table;clear:both}#authorBooks .sectionTitle{border-top:1px solid #CCCCCC;padding:10px 10px 0 10px;margin:0}.accordionContent{padding:0 10px}.authorBio{padding:0 10px;margin-bottom:10px}.authorBooksMeta{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;padding:0 10px}.authorBooksMeta a{color:#00635D}.authorBooksTotalReviewCount:before,.authorBooksTotalRatingCount:before{content:"\00b7"}.authorDetailsList dt,.authorDetailsList dd{display:inline;margin:0}.authorDetailsList dd:after{content:'\A';white-space:pre}.authorDetailsList dt{font-weight:bold}.authorDetailsList dd{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;margin-bottom:15px}.authorDetailsList dd a{color:#00635D}.authorSimilarAuthorsLink{padding:0 10px}.authorDistinctWorksLink{padding:0 10px;display:block;margin-bottom:10px}.authorFansLink{font-weight:bold}.authorInterviewsList{list-style-type:none;margin:0;padding:0}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterview{margin-bottom:15px}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewAt{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewAt a{color:#00635D}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewTitle{display:block}.authorName{margin-bottom:10px}.authorShortBio{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif}.authorShortBio a{color:#00635D}.authorQuotesLink{margin-bottom:15px}.quotesList{border-top:1px solid #CCCCCC;margin-top:15px}.quotesPage{margin-left:10px}.noQuotes{margin-top:15px} [CDATA[ But once youre born, youre on your own. Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. George Carlin, 64. Yeah, I know, youre thinking. If black boxes survive air crashes why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff? George Carlin, 55. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. I mean, life is tough. It seems only right. //]]> apstag.init({ Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. //]]>. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53.

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