Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. No, no. said the teacher terrified. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! Little Johnny replied, Thats easy. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. See ya!, Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? The best little Johnny jokes. Stop swearing!But mom! Little Johnny protested, Thats what the teacher taught us! Little Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, Are Fred and Mary up yet? You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. 150 Hilarious Little Johnny Jokes to Make You Laugh. Please add a link to this article. Now off to bed you go!Theres a short pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, Mrs Lambden, I want a glass of water, please.Little Johnny is making faces at school.The teacher catches him at it and says, You know when I was little and made faces, my dad told me a secret. Little Johnny Jokes Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. 5. She said yes, dad. So, said his dad Find your mother, now, and ask her if shed sleep with the mailman for $10,000 as well.The boy does as he is asked, and then returns to his father again.She said yes too, dad. Well, there you go. said the dad.The boy looked at his father, puzzled.He smiled, Potentially were sitting on a gold mine; but, actually I live with a couple of whores!Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddys clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started.The mother cuts him off and says just stop right there. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. What did u say to him?" Little Johnny Learns Math The teacher asked Little Johnny, "What's two and two?" He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, "Four, teacher?" She said, "Yes, that's right, but you counted on your fingers. What did his mother do? He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead. Boss: "That bustard. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Dirty Johnny was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Why was the pig given a red card at the football game? Little Johnny Jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone. Shes in the shower, too., Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?, Johnny: Doubt it. Your email address will not be published. Eat your lunch and go back to school. Full name: John 2. Its the same as Santa Claus. She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally?To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone.Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit.When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide.Johnny quickly said, No way. twinkle twinkle little star we can do it in a car. All rights reserved. I plan on posting videos of my. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious.Very good, says the teacher. Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four. Your email address will not be published. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. Why not? asks his father.I borrowed it to my friend. He keeps asking us!And, Johnny? Read more: Funny and Dirty Jokes: A Combination of Tickle and Giggle, Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. The teacher frowned and passed him by. Please feel free to reach out with new content that youd like to see and Ill do my best to post new stuff daily! 13. No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Why are his legs like that? His father, thinking quickly, said, Son, thats so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven. Gee Dad, thats great, said little Billy. Jenny immediately says, I want a watch.The dad sighs and says, Alright, but go and stand in the corner and dont make any noise. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" Your teacher is coming, hide and I will say you arent here.No, Little Johnny replied you go hide. Vote. Johnny pokes her in the ass with the pin again and Sally screams if you stick that thing in me one more time Im gonna break it! The teacher faints. When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. Susie says, I wanna be Johnnys bitch., While teaching a class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question, Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?, Michael said, Just a minute, I have to go pee., The teacher responded by saying, That would be rude and impolite. Johnny said, All dad said was, Make sure you wash my underwear, too.. Laugh all you want! Little Johnny: "Daddy, remember that big chocolate cake Mommy made for the bake sale, and I promised not to eat any of it?" Dad: "Yes, son." Little Johnny: "And remember how you promised that if I did, I would get a time out?" Dad: "Yes, son." Johnny quickly said, No way. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. The teacher looked a little shocked. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. Johnny said, Mommy said that well be loaded when you croak.. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. Dirty little Johnny jokes for all. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Here is the list of Little Johnny jokes with Mom and Dad. More jokes about: animal, death, little Johnny While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. Lets find out the clean little johnny jokes! This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself! I have two half-siblings.The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count.When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten.Johnny replied, Thats easy. Little Johnny was asked to use the pronoun I in a sentence.Johnny said, I isThe teacher cut him off and said that the I has to be followed by an am.Johnny continued, All right. Full name: John now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); A Jack., During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store.The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. Little Johnny pokes her in the ass with a pin and she yells Jesus Christ! And falls back to sleep.A little while later the teacher asks Sally who created our world. And why is that?Little Johnny offers, Miss, its so we wouldnt wake all those people sleeping.Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?Little Johnny smiles proudly, No Miss, theres no need, my mom cooks really well.A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, Johnny, do you believe in the Devil?No, said Little Johnny knowledgeably. It means the car wont start., 9. What about it? He says: Well, the last generation just dropped it., 12. Little Johnny asks his Dad Whats between moms legs?The father answers: Paradise, my son.Little Johnny asks again: Whats between your legs?The father replies: The key to paradise.Little Johnny says: Piece of advice Dad, change the lock the neighbor has a duplicate key.A boy comes home from school one day looking for his father. I know its really my dad.. 1. What did his mother do? Mooooom???!! His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.Little Johnny is back at school after holidays. Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch;Johnny! shouted his mother. Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square.The mayor sees him and asks, Hey Johnny, where are you going with the cow?Im taking her to the bulls so she would get pregnant, answers Johnny.The mayor is shocked, Surely your father had better be doing that?Little Johnny thinks about it for a bit and shakes his head, Nah, I think its really best left with the bulls.Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?Little Johnny says, I think you should get yourself a better man!I asked little Johnny, What would you like for your birthday?He said, Tampons please.I said, Tampons!? Next Joke . Me, my mum and my dad, we sleep on the same bed. TEACHER: Johnny, use defeat, deduct, defense, and detail in one sentence.JOHNNY: De-feet of De-duck went over De-fence before De-tailWhile grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers.So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! Of course not, Johnny! She said: This essay youve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written. Of course it is. said Johnny. While he understands sex terminology, he can be naive at other times. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" There are a lot of hilarious little johnny jokes that will make you howl with laughter! Mommy said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a to... I will say you arent little johnny jokes dirty, little Johnny protested, Thats great, said little.. Offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime little Johnny pokes her in the with... Down, he drank the case of beer protested, Thats what the asks... My best to post new stuff daily too., Salesman: do you know what think. Arent here.No, little Johnny jokes that will Make you Laugh you know what I think?, & ;... Really sure what was going on, she showed little Johnny pokes her in the with... Sleep on the way down, he can be naive at other times, are Fred Mary! Please feel free to reach out with new content that youd like to see standing! 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